Facebook Jail: A Bullshit Practice

Hi!

To the point, FUCK FACEBOOK!

On May 20, 2022 I was surprisingly banned from my Facebook account. For those that want to know why, simply put, I don’t know. Chances are I said something mildly offensive, but I really don’t believe that could be it. But I just don’t know. Maybe I’ll find out if I’m allowed back in the club. Who knows!

As soon as I received the ban message…

…I immediately followed the “dispute” prompts and then have been met with this stupid fucking message ever since then:

And every day since then (today is June 6th, so 17+ days now) I’ve opened the FB app on my phone. Not with anxiety or anticipation, but from habit. Muscle memory at its finest. And every fucking day I’m met with this dumb fucking message.

“Just click on that Help link” you probably just foolishly assumed to yourself. Nope! I did that. I did all the things. It’s useless. There’s nothing. No way to contact Facebook. And there’s been no contact from them after being told some “judgement” might happen in “just over a day”. Eat my ass, Zuckerberg. I hope your Telsa drives you over the Gateway Arch in St. Louis by mistake and makes a left at the top.

Here’s the thing, nerd. Unlike you I have friends. If I want them to know something, I’ll tell them. You can’t fucking silence me! You’re not God!

I think it should be highly illegal though for a corporation to integrate itself so far up our assholes that we have to succumb to factitious overlords pretending they have power over us. Eat shit, lizard boy. Your platform is dying. And the straws you’re grasping for are quickly getting further from your reach.

You basically think you get to control 10+ years of my personal information. I’ll do everything in my power to get that info back. In the meantime, I wish you receive 1000 murder hornets stings in your dick hole, and it’s 1 short of your ultimate demise.

Bring back the Dislike/Thumbs Down button, you pussy. Facebook hasn’t been the same since you took it away. If you want to control people’s content, then just delete their fucking post if it’s 75–80% disliked of overall interactions. Otherwise, fuck off, clown.

I could keep going. But I’m going to end with…If anyone wants to say hi or feels the need to reach me before you see me again on FB, or maybe to tell me all the important stuff I’ve missed since being unplugged, drop a comment.

Part 2 below!

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6/22/2022 — The Saga Continues

So after posting the above, I later found out that I’m now a Child Sex predator in the eyes of FB. When I tried logging into Messenger, I was met with this fantastic message:

And yet I still waited for FB to get back in touch with me with their “just over a day” decision. Yep, that never happened.

So, it finally happened. After the 32nd day, I attempted to login to FB yet again today to get met with the usual message, but it opened up with me logged out. When I logged in, it now shows me this:

So I had to take to the Internet again to do something about this. Oh look! Contact numbers for Facebook. Nope! Called them both, and each time it suggests I login to Facebook to open a support case. Well, as you may not know, accused Child Sex Predators can’t do that.

But luckily I found a suggested appeals@fb.com email account that I just sent a message to. Whether or not it will get a reply is up to the Zuck-lords. I’ll be back with another update, if/when that happens.

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7/6/2022 — UPDATE!!!

Today, I figured I’d attempt to try all the FB sites again that would allow me to dispute my deactivation again. And was met with, “Too much time has passed to dispute this decision”, or something like that. But once I gave up again, and for some dumb lucky reason, I decided to look closer at my gmail spam and socials emails, and HOLY COW, a message from Bobby @ Facebook. (And I looked closely at all the details to make sure it was really real!)

Received: Tue, Jul 5, 5:39 PM \ Found-Read: Wed, Jul 6, 10:05 AM

Hi Chris,

My name is Bobby and I work with the Meta Support Team. We heard you are having trouble accessing your Facebook account. We found signs of compromise on your Facebook account and we implemented restrictions to prevent further unauthorized access. We understand this is frustrating and we will support as best we can to get your access back.

In order to secure your Facebook account, we need to confirm your identity using a ‘Code Selfie’. We have provided an 8-digit code below. Please write the code on a piece of paper and take a picture of yourself, holding the paper, so that your face and the paper are clearly visible.

CODE: [XXXXXXXX]

Please attach the selfie image in your reply to this message.

We also need to secure your Facebook account with a new email address. Can you please provide us with an email address that is not associated with any past or present Facebook or Instagram accounts?

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Thanks,
Bobby
Meta Support Team

I responded: Wed, Jul 6, 10:11 AM

So apparently there’s some shenanigans going on, and Bobby is currently my Meta superhero….hopefully. But the saga still continues. Will post again soon after Bobby tweaks some knobs and jiggles some handles.

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7/7/2022 — Final Update

I’m back!

The restrictions on your account due to the compromise were lifted. We have secured your account with <my new email address>. You will receive an email with account reset instructions. Can you please follow these instructions and notify us after you regained access to your Facebook account?

Please let us know if you have any questions.

Thanks,
Bobby
Meta Support Team

Some serious shit went down that I wasn’t involved in. Someone took over the Ad Manager area of my account. Possibly more. I’m still reviewing all my shit. But…I’M FUCKING BACK!